Rainy day of Reflections

I found myself today getting done work early and having some extra time on my hands...to do more work. I think my eyes are fried for the next few days from editing my little heart out. However, in between my work computer to my home work computer, I had some time to think about the shoot that I was editing. It was a boudoir session of a woman that wasn't the stereotypical ten, but she was working the heck out of the camera. And she was stunning. I was in awe of the confidence radiating off of her body. I'm probably one of the most uncomfortable people you'll meet with my body and my image. Hence the reason I'm behind the camera and cringe when it's flipped on me. I'm constantly trying new workout programs and discovering new weird things about food and health tips. The typical up and down wanna be health freak...I just love bad food too much to stick to something ultra strict. Anyway. This shoot hit a spot that's been itching for awhile now. Part of this has to do with my friend, Cheyenne Gil who does stunning photography work. I'm seriously obsessed with her images. If  you haven't seen it yet, you should go check it out at http://www.cheyennegil.com. She's all about feeling beautiful in your own skin...something that I never do. So as trains of thoughts go...all of these questions of when you start becoming aware of self came into my head. And of course like anything that I start to think about, it usually leads to something about my past and nostalgia and takes me back to wishing I was just a little kid sitting on my front porch with the Arlington St. Gang feeling all bad ass that we were allowed out until 11. Taking myself back to times when I didn't care about how much my arm jiggles when I shake the impossible melted shaker of Parmesan cheese for the person at the market that keeps asking for more. Basically the station my train stopped at was one of acceptance. A "just do it, then" kind of thought. The world passes us by much faster than we know. I don't have time to hate myself and my body. I work hard, I aim to be healthy, and I'm going to appreciate that. I'll still have my ups and downs, but my goal is to have many more ups. My first self portrait shoot was hopefully my break in for many more to come. I want to be happy, I want to be healthy, and I want to be kick ass. The only way to become that is to start believing in myself. So here goes nothing! Welcome to the start of something new, hopefully you'll join me =)  






And of course I had to include some throwbacks.